THANK YOU!

You will have to excuse my boggled mind today, I went to bed late, and because I’m currently in a bobbing train and find it difficult to keep this computer steady, but sometimes writing must happen just when the seems are about to burst, and it’s too much to keep in and must be spilled out. So here goes …

This week has been a whirlwind of beautiful, scary, awesome surprises …

Firstly, my script review … ouch! What can I say except that having your work picked at, and pulled apart is very scary, because really it feels like they’re picking and pulling you apart, right? And, although my editor informed me that structurally my script had to be re-written from top to bottom … ugh! She did slip in a sentence or two  that my writing need not be touched, which quite literally brought me to tears. My writing need not be changed!!! What? You liked it? It was legible? Sometimes, you get into this funk, and you get lost in the detail, and start doubting your ability to actually write this dang thing, and nasty self-defeating thoughts just take over, but you plow through, just because what else are you going to do, stop? No, not an option! And, sometimes the payoff is disappointing, but other times, it’s like hearing I love you for the first time. (THANK YOU STÉPHANIE)

Secondly, my short story was published … I know I know I keep talking about it, but I just can’t seem to get over it either.(THANK YOU CYNTHIA) What started out as an attempt on my part to get out there, and stop hiding in the bush, afraid of judgement, failure probably, ended up being a beacon of light that would attract so many other beautiful and unexpected things, that has since placed me on cloud nine, and have yet to come back down to earth. Someone actually thought it was good enough to publish? I laughed with my friend the other night saying I should be careful, or all this attention will go to my head, and I’ll become a diva. She said … No! Let it go to your head, enjoy it, you worked hard and then come back down to earth. So I followed her advice. 😉 All weekend! (THANK YOU JULIE)

And lastly, the most unexpected, thrilling, overwhelming experience took place moments after I posted my last post. I felt like I had just won an oscar, or a booker prize, or really some sort of million dollar lottery that leaves you excited, nervous, anxious, happy, and giddy! Three days ago, twenty minutes after revealing to my world of cherished, loved, and respected eight followers (which included myself because I’m a nerd and wasn’t sure how to un-follow myself), I came back to my blog to find 201 followers. WHAT? Imagine my shock, and surprise … surely, there was a glitch? I un-logged, and logged back in, nope still 201 followers. I explore further, did I press a button or something … push, un-push everything I can think of … nope still 201 followers have read my little itty bitty blog. My analytical nature suspected something had happened in my absence that I was at a loss to understand, so I explored the people that had appreciated my words, and fell upon a young individual that I suspected was the reason for this amazing gift, and once I realized he had some twenty thousand followers, I gasped! He liked my little old blog? In his generosity, he had also frayed a path for others to find me. (THANK YOU CRISTIAN MIHAI) I read your blog about leaving a legacy, and I can assure you, not only your words will have imprinted on me, no, your legacy stretches far beyond the written word, and all the way over on the other side of the world in Canada, you have a affected a small-town suburban girl in such way that she will be forever grateful to the gift you have given her. The chance to express herself, and be heard around the world. (THANK YOU)

And, to my dear blog friend Susan Bahr, still rooting for me, still believing in me, encouraging me, helping me with her own blog, all the while, unbeknownst to you that I was riddled with the self-doubt. (THANK YOU SUSAN) http://susanbahr.com/

So what is the lesson learned in all this? I’m reminded of a song in my new favourite album by Alex Clare, “Tight Rope”

Life’s a tightrope,
and your standing on one toe,
Don’t let the fear take hold of you,
your bound to fall to the ground below,
Pick yourself up again,
over the edge again,
Hold on to your hopes and dreams,
When all seems to be lost,
don’t start to count the costs,
just go and begin again,

tight rope walker, tight rope walker,

[Chorus:]
The only thing I’m sure of is to have no fear at all,
just go,
keep on rowing on,
And the only thing that’s certain is that sometimes your bound to fall,
just go keep on going on,

When all you work for,
comes tumbling to the ground,
don’t let the sadness fill your heart,
tomorrow may be a better day,
lift your head up again,
you know you’ll start again.

Love K

xxx

Ps: Website launch in 15 days!!!

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2 thoughts on “THANK YOU!

  1. Congratulations – I hope all those followers follow through and read your posts – I hope they honor that blasted “follow” button and overwhelm you with comments and feedback and good wishes. Thanks for the thanks – you deserve all the attention and just where do you get the time?!! Keep me posted! Sue

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