So as promised… frenemies!
What is a frenemy?
Well, the New Oxford American dictionary terms it; “Frenemy (alternately spelled “frienemy“) is a portmanteau of “friend“and “enemy” that can refer to either an enemy disguised as a friend or to a partner who is simultaneously a competitor and rival.”
I think we can all agree we fall in the latter category, I personally have never had a spy friend, at least not that I know of. Friends, however, that, beyond themselves, just can’t handle your success, your happiness, or more extreme I suppose, are envious, and maybe even jealous. And, I’m not talking about the kind of jealousy of wanting what you have (materialistically speaking), no it’s a jealousy that is much more unconscious, much more profound than that.
It’s difficult to explain, but it’s very raw, and at the core of all of us. Of wanting to be loved, and accepted, and needed, and acknowledge, and I guess when we feel like we don’t possess those qualities, the friends that do, become very distasteful to us. And, the relationship unravels into pettiness. And, don’t get me wrong, there are always two sides to a story, and two to fight, but having said that it’s not always easy to take the high road(which will be the subject of my next blog). I’ve honestly just started taking the bumpy road filled with pot holes, and mud, and forgiveness, in most part thanks to my husband and kids. Before them, I enjoyed the spiteful, vengeful grudge. It was much easier than to admit my feelings were hurt, or worse that I might have been wrong.
I guess, what I’m trying to say is that once you’ve realized the underlying essence behind the frenemy you feel a little less judgemental, a little less angry maybe, it doesn’t mean you want that person in your life, but it might make you a little less sad.
In any case, like my good friend said today, friendships change over time, some evolve, some break, some reminisce, so long as you stay true to yourself.